The Well-Tempered Ear

Classical music notes: Knitting during a live concert is rude, very rude | February 4, 2010

By Jacob Stockinger

Last Friday, I attended to the weekly free Noon Musicale at the First Unitarian Society in Madison.

It was a fine performance of rarely heard string trios by Schubert and Beethoven by three members of the quartet Quartessence.

The performers dug into the music, and the audience was big and enthusiastic.

But there was a problem.

The knitters.

As soon as the three string players – a violinist, a violist and a cellist – started playing, one woman in the front row and another in the second row start to knit.

Maybe there were other knitters behind me, but I couldn’t see them.

Sure, the knitters were quiet. No loud click-clicking of needles or turning book pages to follow a pattern.

And true, the atmosphere at the musicales is more casual and relaxed than at a full-length evening concert.


Does anyone else find it just rude and unacceptable to knit during a live musical performance?

To me, it seems like the older person’s equivalent of texting during the show.

It shows a lack of courtesy and etiquette.

If knitting is what you want to do or have to do, then stay home, put on a CD and knit to your heart’s content.

But you have no business distracting the performers or the other audiences member with your knitting. Either pay attention to the music or don’t go or else leave.

But don’t turn the music into Muzak.

Disturbing others, those playing or those listening, is just plain rude.

In fact, in some ways it is worse than coughing because coughing is usually involuntary.

Before a concert begins, to we really need to announce there should be no knitting along with no texting, no cell phoning and no wristwatch alarms?

Am I being a fuddy-duddy?

Does anyone think knitting during a live musical performance is OK?

The Ear wants to hear.

Posted in Classical music


  1. I am a knitter and I listen better when I am knitting. When I am not knitting or taking notes, I get distracted by all sorts of things going on around me or in my head and I miss part of the music or part of a talk. I would like to take my knitting with me but I never have and, now that I read your blog, I never will. It is unfortunate that you and others feel so negatively about this topic since for us knitters it would be heaven to knit and listen. Heaven it seems cannot exist.

    Comment by AAR — November 9, 2012 @ 4:01 pm

  2. Two days ago the big day arrived for me: I was able to see Brahms Piano Quintet in F Minor live! The only tix I could afford were in the rear of the auditorium, but it was a relatively small space. The first movement started and I kept hearing clicking, like fingernails. I tried to focus on the music but kept being distracted by the intermittent yet insistent clicking. I finally turned and two rows behind me, in the very last row, a knitter!

    I was appalled. I can’t believe how inconsiderate it was. I moved during the movement to get away from it, further disrupting other people’s enjoyment of the piece. I considered that maybe she suffered from anxiety, but why should she be allowed to ruin other people’s experience? Apparently many people here would give it a pass, which I find incredibly selfish. Follow another neurotic’s advice (Glenn Gould) and go listen at home.

    Comment by Jim Sherman — November 8, 2011 @ 3:19 pm

    • So glad to find this threat, btw

      Comment by Jim Sherman — November 8, 2011 @ 3:21 pm

    • Hi jim,
      Thanks for reading and replying in detail with your own horror story to counter the defenders of the indefensible.

      Comment by welltemperedear — November 8, 2011 @ 5:20 pm

  3. Hello! I’m a knitter AND a performing pianist and harpsichordist. Speaking as a pianist first, no, it doesn’t and wouldn’t distract me to see people knitting or crocheting in the audience. It’s a different issue than cell phones. A cell phone introduces the possibility of that cell phone ringing, which IS disruptive and distracting (there’s a visual and an aural distraction with most cell phones; I HAVE experienced that); if I’m knitting, my yarn isn’t going to ring or flash. If I drop my yarn or wooden needles, they won’t make a distracting sound. So knitting DOES NOT equal cell phone use.

    I will concede that the issue might be context dependent. As a performer, I would be distracted if I were giving a harpsichord recital in a small space where I was very close to the audience, and someone in the front row was knitting a hot pink sweater. But if I’m playing in a fairly large hall where the closest audience member is a few yards away knitting a sock, I don’t find that behavior distracting at all. Knitters, come hear me play any time and bring your knitting with you!

    Comment by Lyn — September 1, 2011 @ 10:20 am

    • Hi Lyn,
      Thank you so much for reading and then replying from such a personal perspective and with such detail.
      I am very happy for you that knitting generally doesn’t disrupt you as a player.
      But that does not convince me that it is not rude to performers in general and to other audience members, who may indeed find it distracting visually if not aurally.
      The concert hall is the wrong place or multi-task. Sorry. I had as similar experience recently not with knitting but with someone looking at photos on an iPhone.
      And what prompted my column was a performance in a small space where one of the performers later admitted that the knitting was in fact distracting.
      So I stand by my opinion, despite performing artists who are immune to the distraction — as some others are (and are not) to coughing and rustling paper.
      If you want to knit, stay home and listen to a record or at least wait for intermission.
      But if you want to hear music live, then give the performer and other audience members the respect they deserve.
      Happy knitting!
      Happy playing!
      Happy listening!

      Comment by welltemperedear — September 1, 2011 @ 1:28 pm

  4. As a classical percussionist, I often knit DURING performances! If it’s not noisy, I don’t see a problem with it. There is no correct way to enjoy music!

    Comment by Rhian — July 28, 2011 @ 4:27 pm

    • Dear Rhina,
      Thank you for reading and replying.
      I understand your urge, but I have to disagree with you.
      There are indeed rules of conduct for public performance — even if they are unwritten or understood.
      Knitting may not be noisy, but it is rude and distracting both to the people and listeners around you and to the performer.
      It is simply not respectful to the activity you are there for — but instead to your own need.
      In that case, I would usually say you are better staying at home and knitting perhaps to a recorded or broadcast performance since knitting is clearly the primary focus of your presence.
      If you are at a live performance, you should be engaged in that — NOT in knitting.
      I suspect you, in turn, would be distract, if someone were texting noiselessly or perhaps scrolling through photos on an iPhone or reading an e-book.
      Sorry I have to disagree. Maybe it seems old-fashioned. But I speak both as a listener who has observed others who thought they were “harmlessly” knitting, and as a performer who becomes distracted by audience activity.
      I urge you to rethink your position and put yourself int he place of other audience members and performers.
      But once again, thank you for writing.
      Best wishes,

      Comment by welltemperedear — July 28, 2011 @ 5:11 pm

  5. I love listening to classical music, whenever I want to relax especially on weekends. When I started to get into this, my wife followed me into it too.

    Comment by live performance — April 7, 2011 @ 8:33 am

  6. People sometimes needs to be scolded even if they are well educated. I wonder what came into their mind knitting during a concert. Are they just showing off or are they just plain stupid?:)

    Comment by Custom Patches — January 29, 2011 @ 11:02 am

    • Hi Custom Patches,
      Thanks for reading and replying.
      I agree with you.
      But oh, they have all sorts of reasons and excuses.
      Just look under the Comments section.

      Comment by welltemperedear — January 29, 2011 @ 11:40 am

  7. Actually, Ear, I think you and the other bad-tempered guys maybe speak with some neuroscientists. There is a certain segment of the population (I’m not going to dig up the studies, but they’re out there) that must, repeat must have their hands occupied if they are to hear when they listen.

    We all know about adolescent boys who simply can’t sit still … and who once were castigated by teachers for misbehaving. In fact, a century or more ago boys like that wound up being classified as “bad boys” and might even wind up being sent off to the military because they “obviously” did not know how to behave in proper society. They were always on the receiving end of “Why can’t you be like your brother?” type questions, and, well, they couldn’t be like their brother because they weren’t their brothers! Neuroscientists understand these boys now; once they didn’t.

    From what I’ve read, more women than men need handwork of some kind to occupy part of their minds while they use the rest listening. Maybe it’s an evolutionary adaptation to minding the kids and doing fifty other tasks at the same time.

    It’s amusing to find such pontificating about how multitasking is leading to the breakdown of society — I mean, really? Do people even re-read the drivel they write?

    I am a divinity student and a long-time preacher in church. In class and in church, I knit — so I can hear. As preacher, would I rather have a knitter in my congregation truly listening or huddled at home in shame? C’mon. I find it hard to believe that are that many musicians out there who would prefer that knitters avoid their concerts if it comes to that. Who are these musicians playing for? Do they insist that tall people stay away from their concerts because they block other people’s views, and we hear with our eyes? Do they exclude wheelchairs because they might squeak?

    All diversions are not equal. I think people find it easier to rail against knitters because knitters are generally women! Several generations of disbelieving professors have found that knitting women students are frequently the A students. Perhaps you should save your ill temper for the people ostentatiously wielding cell phones and other lighted, blinking, beeping toys — these birds can’t hear in class and they can’t hear at concerts, either.

    Comment by Diggitt — November 30, 2010 @ 5:13 pm

    • Hi Diggitt,
      I have criticized using cellphones and texting during a concert.
      You can look it up in the search engine.
      And I’m not buying your reasoning, I don’t care what source you give.
      Multi-tasking during a live performance is like multi-tasking during driving.
      It’s an illusion. Distractions are distractions.
      Courtesy counts — and so does paying attention to the music, if it is music yo want.
      If what you want is knitting, then stay home.
      Thanks for reading and replying thoughtfully and interestingly.

      Comment by welltemperedear — November 30, 2010 @ 10:08 pm

      • Jake, I wonder why you asked for people to respond to your question, since you obviously refuse to accept the well-reasoned logic of those who disagree with you. If you wanted a chance to vent, you should have said as much. But to invite comments is to invite differing viewpoints, and responding with “I’m not buying your reasoning” does nothing but shut down what could become a thoughtful exchange. I notice you respond to every disagreement with largely the same set of statements, and comparing knitting (which for the experienced knitter is a mindless task that does not take attention away from a performance) is nothing like texting with your hands, your eyes, and your mind; and it certainly is not equivalent to multi-tasking while driving, which is an incredibly dangerous activity that puts people’s lives at risk.

        I understand the potential distraction of somebody knitting in front of you, but if that’s the case, we should also, as the previous commenter suggested, make it illegal to be tall at a concert. I’m 6’4″, so maybe I shouldn’t be allowed to sit in front of people because it’s a distraction. Or perhaps looking at the program during the performance should also be castigated, because somebody obviously isn’t giving the performers their full attention.

        Jake, there are plenty of disruptive, just plain rude behaviors that take place during performances, and I hardly think knitting is up there near the top. I was a performing musician for years, and quite frankly I enjoyed seeing knitters in the audience. As a performer, I want to reach all types, and while the sound of a cellphone or chatter can actually be distracting to my concentration, the sight of somebody knitting is no more of a distraction than a bright sweater or a “shifter” who can’t keep the same sitting position for long.

        I can see you are frustrated by knitters, and would prefer to not have them attend a concert, but to dictate that all performers and audience members must share your irritation is rather arrogant. Perhaps if such little things are so distracting, you should be the one to listen peacefully at home where you can control your entire listening experience. To let yourself be so bothered by such a small thing you cannot control, seems to only hurt your own enjoyment of the performance. Live and let live, say I.

        Comment by Phil — November 4, 2012 @ 12:14 pm

      • Hi Phil,
        Thanks for reading my blog and for your long and thoughtful reply.
        Find me arrogant if you like, but it seems to me you are really the one who is selfish and will not accept any answer but your own, including the reduction to absurdity about interfering with other listeners.
        I invited responses because I genuinely wanted to hear from others, knitters and non-knitters as well as performers and other audience members. Many agreed with me, many did not. Where does that invalidate a request for replies?
        And you are right. I don;t buy it.
        So far, I have not heard any reasonable justification for the rude behavior of knitting at a concert, except from knitters, who want to justify themselves no matter what and give thier own behavior top priority.
        Knitting is NOT innocuous or unobtrusive for either other audience members or performers, at least many of not all.
        But you are wrong to think that is the only rude behavior that bothers me at a concert.
        I also dislike hearing pages of the program being turned during the music, or people loudly unwrapping cellophane-wrapped candies, especially during a slow movement, or people reading books during a performance, or persistent coughers who will not get up and leave the hall for a while.
        I keep waiting for something convincing to make me think otherwise, but it almost always boils down to the same thing: “I enjoy knitting” or “I need to knit, so I should be able to do it in a concert.”
        Sorry, I’m still not buying it, at least not for that reason.
        I also don’t buy people correcting papers during a concert, which I have written about.
        You go to a concert to hear music — and being respectful of other people, both audiences members and performers, requires a certain decorum. Save the other stuff for before, after or intermission.
        From the tone of your response, I don’t expect my words to satisfy you. But it really does seem to me that if you think I protest too much, I think you defend too much — and also find too many straw dogs to attack.
        Still, perhaps our words will resonate with other and change some attitude.
        But probably not, no?
        Thanks again.

        Comment by welltemperedear — November 4, 2012 @ 12:46 pm

  8. I bring my knitting with me everywhere that I go, even to live performances, and movie theaters. However, if I am at a live performance, I want to be there, and will only knit during waiting periods before the show actually begins, and during intermissions.

    I am surprised, however, that it is something that seems to upset people so much. It feels like we need to begin to take focus off of what others are doing that bothers us, and instead, focus on what we are doing to be better people.

    This is hard, I know, as I spent a few minutes last night ranting about trucks that enter a Christmas parade with a set of lights on their trucks, and not even waving or anything else. Why do I want to stand there in the cold and look at some trucks? I see trucks everyday. Please make it exciting. At least wave! So there, I got to rant again!

    But in the spirit of what I was saying, I was the one waving excitedly and yelling, “Merry Christmas!” to everyone in the parade who did not wave first, in attempts to shift the focus on my own actions.

    Comment by Heidi — November 28, 2010 @ 6:29 pm

    • Hi Heidi,
      Thanks for reading and replying thoughtfully, personally and at length.
      You have no argument from since you knit before the performance and during intermissions.
      But if you knit while someone is performing — then I would see that as rude behavior that disrespects the performers and the other members of the audience.
      In that case, your idea of misplaced attention has nothing to do with it.
      Otherwise, I say, happy knitting.

      Comment by welltemperedear — November 28, 2010 @ 9:18 pm

  9. Totally inappropriate, rude, and should not be allowed. Not even close.

    Comment by Stu Levitan — February 9, 2010 @ 2:12 pm

    • Thank you, Scoop, for your tersely sane assessment.

      You are 1,000 percent right.

      Maybe some local talk shows hosts and radio program hosts will put the question — the issue? — to their audiences.

      Thanks so much for taking the time to read and then comment.

      The Ear

      Comment by welltemperedear — February 9, 2010 @ 2:51 pm

  10. […] RTWT … and read answers already there. […]

    Read and visit:

    Pingback by Knit Pick? at oboeinsight — February 6, 2010 @ 3:34 am

  11. I am a knitter and a musician. I do bring my knitting with me to various places — doctor’s office, my kid’s dance or piano lesson, etc. But this is solely to keep me occupied doing something constructive in locations and situations where I would have little else to do.

    I would NEVER bring knitting to a concert of any kind, or to a lecture, a meeting or a worship service. I have attended events in each of those categories where people were knitting, and I thought it was rude. (I have also attended events where it turned out I would rather have been knitting, but c’est la vie.)

    To me it is a matter of respect (for the performer/presenter and the assembly) and also of self-discipline. For those who think they “have to” knit in order listen I say: take a class in mindfulness meditation and learn how to focus on where you are.

    Comment by Deana — February 5, 2010 @ 10:54 pm

    • Incidentally, I do understand the idea that knitting and music can go together very well. I often listen to recorded music while I knit and find it not only meditative but productive. My favorite projects are prayer shawls, and I subscribe to St. Augustine’s maxim that “When we sing we pray twice.” But that still doesn’t give me an excuse to knit during a live performance of the St. John Passion.

      Comment by Deana — February 5, 2010 @ 11:29 pm

  12. It would drive me INSANE if I could see somebody knitting during a concert. It would bug me whether I were seated in the audience or performing.

    If this was a less formal setting then perhaps it makes sense- I play with a Classical Revolution group in pubs and other non-traditional venues where people even mill around, sip wine and chat while people perform and that’s just fine. This sounds like a seated audience with a stage- not the same thing.

    I think “what got us where we are” is not multi-tasking, but accommodating people who have been told they NEED to be able to do exactly what they want at any given moment without consideration of others.

    That sentence sounds snarkier on the screen than I mean it- but really, would you knit if it were your loved one performing? Would you knit if you were on stage but had a long rest or a tacet movement? Should the brass section be knitting through the Ring Cycle?

    It seems obvious to me.

    Comment by Miriam Ward — February 5, 2010 @ 5:14 pm

    • Hi Miriam,

      Thank you for reading and then commenting.

      I don’t think you’re snarky at all. That’s probably because I agree with you.

      I do think multi-tasking plays a role, but you’re right: So does a selfish, self-centered and self-indulgent society in which members do not recognize social bonds and, yes, even social obligations.

      When we attend a live concert, we enter into a social contract with the performer, the music and other listeners. I understand you to recognize that.

      But others apparently don’t. Look at some of the other comments.

      It seems obvious to me too. Why doesn’t it seem that way to others?

      I hope you’ll keep reading — and performing.



      Comment by welltemperedear — February 5, 2010 @ 5:53 pm

  13. For such a casual setting, I’m not surprised or dismayed at the knitting. What I do find rude is that these knitters were in the front rows.

    If you are not going to watch what the performers are doing, then sit with your knitting in the back and leave the seats with good sight-lines for those who are there for the visual as well as the aural experience.

    Comment by Lori Skelton — February 5, 2010 @ 5:05 pm

    • Lori,

      Thanks for reading and writing, and of course for your hosting on radio.

      You make some very good points that help to attenuate the disruption or distraction caused by the knitter during a live performance.

      But I wonder how the folks in the back rows feel if they are sitting near the knitter and the knitter is in their sightline to the performer? I think it was Stravinsky who said one should listen with one’s eyes as well as one’s ears. Making music is a certain kind of athletic experience requiring fine hand-eye coordination. I bet the knitting is distracting to whoever is nearby.

      We’ll see what others say, no?

      Thanks again.


      Comment by welltemperedear — February 5, 2010 @ 5:29 pm

  14. As both a knitter and a musical performer/performing writer, I have a special interest in this issue.

    As a knitter, I find that I gain a deeper appreciation for what I’m hearing when I’m listening to certain kinds of musical performances. On the other hand, when I am attending something such as the Symphony or the opera, I do not even bring knitting along. I want to watch the performances, watch the incredible music being created in front of me.

    This being said, I only bring small, discreet projects to concerts. Socks, wristwarmers, etc. I would never work on a sweater, shawl, or other large item at a live public performance.

    As a performer, I find that people experience music and spoken word in very different ways. I’ve been exposed to and studied the work of Dawna Markova and the Perceptual Learning Patterns quite deeply, and have gained new appreciation for the ways that different people access their deepest minds.

    I know that there are individuals who really cannot sit through a musical performance, and am saddened that these individuals often do not get to experience live music. As a performer, I want — above all else — for my music to be heard. However that happens for people is fine by me. When a musician is performing (or a writer reading), she should be focused on what she is performing, not so much on what the audience is doing (unless, of course, the audience is leaving. That’s bad).

    So, welltemperedear, I would ask if you are a knitter. Or if there is some thing you do which helps you focus more/go deeper to pay attention. Are there ways you act in public situations which may be distracting to others, both those you are engaged with and those you are not?

    Knitting in public isn’t about anyone but the knitter and her yarn.

    Comment by Sara — February 5, 2010 @ 4:49 pm

    • Sara,

      Thank you for reading my comments and then leaving such a long and thoughtful reply.

      I’ll start at the end.

      No, I am not a knitter. But as a music and arts critic, I have taken notes at concerts. Still, I try to do it very discretely. I don’t do it all the time or constantly. Or I wait until intermission. Or I simply hold my comments and thoughts in my memory until I get home and can write.

      I have to disagree with your last sentence–at least in part. Sure, knitting is public is fine and not what I was talking about. Go ahead–knit on a bus or in a park or at a restaurant or library. You’ll get no objection from me. But doing the same thing during a live performance goes beyond “in public.” Then it is indeed about more than the knitter and her yarn.

      I too have performed — played piano, sang, acted, read poetry — in public, and in my experience the attentiveness of the audience plays an important role in the quality of a performance.

      I understand your desire to communicate and reach people through your art. But I think it would be unfortunate if some other people who don’t knit had a lesser or diminished experience because someone nearby was knitting and preoccupied with her own quirk.

      I’m sorry for people who have to occupy their hands to appreciate music. But then they should stay at home and listen to a recording — not distract the live performers or the other better adjusted listeners.

      There really is a role for good manners and social etiquette and plain old courtesy to play. I try to fit into the situation as that situation requires. All things are just not always about me — or about the hypothetical knitter who does not perform her knitting in a vacuum.

      So in the end, I am not persuaded. Sorry, but it still seems like a self-indulgence that is better checked temporarily or dealt with in another way.


      Comment by welltemperedear — February 5, 2010 @ 5:44 pm

  15. This is a tough one. If I were sitting in the front and could be seen by the musicians, I doubt I would knit. And I disapprove of multi-tasking in general — it’s what’s gotten us where we are today.
    Personal immersion into the music (and films) is important for the art form.

    However, that being said, it simply must be accepted for once and for all that some people must keep their hands busy to pay deep attention to what’s going on around them.

    Knitting is one of the only socially acceptable ways to do this. So for those folks who ban knitting in meetings, at work, during conversations or at a friend’s house I say “pooh.”

    Comment by Karen Jelenfy — February 4, 2010 @ 1:49 pm

    • Hi Karen,

      Thank you for reading and taking the time to reply.

      I appreciate your acknowledgement that it can be a tough call. And in many circumstances, I would agree with you.

      But the performing arts — music, dance, acting — are difficult enough to focus on and successfully do in a public setting that unnecessary distractions and disruptions should be limited or eliminated.

      It’s also why the Madison Symphony Orchestra won’t allow children under 6 into most regular concerts. It’s not because they don’t want to encourage young people to listen to and love classical music. It’s just being fair to performers and audience members.

      Furthermore, I look to defend the greater good. If, as you say, individuals have to occupy their own hands to pay attention to what they are seeing or hearing, well, that is the real problem — not the activity they are using or the setting in which they are using that activity.

      In many circumstances — certain kinds of meetings, traveling, watching films or TV or listening to music AT HOME — knitting would be, and is, just fine.

      But I still think it is out of place at special events such as live music, dance performances, theater performances, poetry readings or lectures. With those, focus and concentration are among the responsibilities the audience members owe to the performers and to each other.

      Paying attention is part of the social contract that we have as art consumers with fellow arts consumers and with the arts providers and performers.

      Does that convince you in any way? Let me know, OK?

      It was good to hear your thoughts. I hope others weigh in.

      Happy listening and happy attending,


      Comment by welltemperedear — February 4, 2010 @ 2:34 pm

      • As a knitter I find I pay more attention when my hands are working. It is soothing and I don’t think it is disrespectful at all. I know several churches that welcome it during service although I am more likely to do it at a concert where the congregants are not participating. So I respectfully disagree with you. Often knitters are able to be more present and hear more thoroughly when they knit. As for the people in the orchestra, I have not yet heard from any who mind this as long as it is a small project and I am quiet. I knit dozens of hats for children’s charities and often church or concert members will comment to me about the beautiful little hats they see me making. Not one person has ever complained to me. I generally sit about half way back and I am quiet and try to be thoughtful of those around me. I never feel I am being rude in anyway and if even one person were to tell me it bothered them I would stop when I am seated near them.
        No need to reply; I know you disagree and know your argument and I respect it. I just disagree and hope we can agree to disagree.

        Comment by SKB — December 16, 2021 @ 11:14 am

  16. I think it is just fine. When you knit, you are still paying attention to the music. If the knitters are also moving paperwork, etc. then yes, that could be distracting. But I am not sure why the knitting itself is distracting. By the way, I would knit at the concert if I had something that was easy.

    Comment by Kathy — February 4, 2010 @ 12:35 pm

    • Hi Kathy,
      Thank you for reading and writing.
      Your response is thoughtful and shared by many knitters, I imagine. I wish I could agree with you.
      Put yourself in the place of the performers — not the knitters.
      How is it distracting? Among other things, knitting is distracting VISUALLY.
      How would you, as a violinist or pianist or singer, like to look out from your chair or bench or where you are standing, and see people knitting while you are playing?
      I don’t think it would feel good. It would feel disrespectful and it might even be be distracting enough to cause you to lose concentration and make a mistake or have a memory lapse. (It would be interesting to hear from some performers what they say about this, no?)
      Plus, psychology experts are finding out these days that we don’t really multi-task as well as we think we do.
      So I still say: Be courteous to the performers and to the other audience members. At a live concert, put away the knitting and pay attention to the music. If you want to knit, stay home and listen to a CD.
      Thanks again and best wishes.

      Comment by welltemperedear — February 4, 2010 @ 1:37 pm

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